Thursday, July 09, 2009

Painful Itching And Burning

This post is dedicated to Brooke and Brittany. They're sisters. They're both pretty obnoxious, and prone to cheap sexual innuendo, especially when it comes to jokes about hot beef. (Hey, girls- did you know that "innuendo" is Italian for suppository?) They live in Portland, or Seattle, or some other silly pseudo-city out West, where they smoke weed, play hacky sack, and hang out with other negligent reprobates. For a while it was hard to decide which of them was lazier, but now Brittany has clearly won. She's a big huge quitter of Sarah Palin-esque proportions. Click the link to see the last time she posted something. Seriously, it's just shameful. She hardly even bothers to comment on other people's blogs any more, that's how far she has sunk into her morass of appalling torpor. Honestly, the kids today.

So, because they did/specifically did not ask for it respectively, here's a flat iron steak. Sous vide at 52˚ C for an hour or so, then a sear in smoked duck fat. Sweet potato fries. Green mash made from curly endive, garlic, pine nuts, olive oil, ume plums, white truffle oil, lemon juice, and a little mustard. More mustard on the side. It's what's for dinner, bitches.


The Spiteful Chef said... now you're taking requests? I didn't know that! Anyway, poor Brittany got pilloried and you know she won't see this post to defend herself. On account of extreme laziness.

Brooke said...

Awww yeah. That's what I'm talkin' bout. It looks much better than mine, of course.

I'll let Brittany know she was publicly humiliated with a proverbial depantsing courtesy of Peter, and give her the right to defend her honor.

peter said...

Kristie: You wanna hear Caravan with a drum solo?

Brooke: I'd be amazed if she would tear herself away from the bong long enough to read it, let alone comment.

genevelyn said...

Love the Italian joke!@!!!

We Are Never Full said...

i barely have any idea why this post is funny b/c i don't read 2 out of the 3 blogs (i have a feeling after clicking over that is going to change) but i'm sure it involves some cyber-banter and trash-talking and, regardless, i laughed.

Brittany said...

I've officially been called out.

I'd ramble on about how busy I've been at work and the like, but you would know it's bullshit. There will be a blog post up in the near future where I will vehemently (sp? Sorry. I'm too high to spell check) defend myself.

For the record, I have never once played hackey sack.

Brittany said...

Heh. "painful itching and burning"
I get it.

peter said...

Genevelyn: You have subtle and discerning taste. But you knew that already.

Amy: What am I, funny like a fucking clown?

Doña Torta: Jeez, it's about time. I look forward to reading this "post" that you speak of, but I will not be waiting under water. It will be nice to have you back.